Hustle and Bustle for the Holidays

December is always a busy month for everyone--me included.  After Betty's house sold, we still had things to do.

Jean and I went to a care conference for Grandma on Wednesday, December 22.  Afterward we visited with her and talked a bit.  It's kind of funny how she remembers things.  Her memory for things in the past is pretty good, and she remembers all of her family.  There are just some things that she can't wrap her mind around still.  She believes that her husband Lyford is still alive, though he died about 10 years ago.  She doesn't really know where she is.  Her surroundings don't remind her of anything terribly familiar.

Betty's doing alright too.  We saw her for awhile.  She grimaced at me when I wrote her name on a stuffed animal we got her for Christmas.  In a nursing home it's a good idea to put the resident's name on everything.  Hospice is still taking care of her, and there hasn't been any significant change I can see lately.

That evening Jean and I ate dinner at Applebee's, and then we went to the mall to do a little shopping for Christmas.  We had pie and ice cream at Perkins and then watched Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader at the movie theater.  I like to hang out with my aunt.  I never really considered that I'd be living in the same house with her and we'd be spending as much time as we do.

That night on the way home from Bozeman, we saw a mega-herd of elk between the Yellowstone River bridge and Yankee Jim Canyon.  I turned off the car and rolled down the window, and we could hear the calves whistling to their mamas.  Occasionally we could hear the cows whistling back, but they weren't as vocal.  It was very pleasant to see and hear.  The bright moon and the snow on the ground allowed us to see how big the herd was.

We celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve because Jean had to work on Christmas Day (she works on all holidays).  We spent it at Chris' house in Livingston.  We had dinner--steaks, potatoes, vegetables, rolls, the works.  Afterward, we exchanged gifts in a secret Santa exchange.  That was lots of fun.

Christmas Day I spent by myself at home.  I had a good but modest Christmas--mostly movies, and some software.  I spent the day reading and watching TV.

Work was incredibly busy between Christmas and New Year's.  I'm sure that the holiday breaks that schools give was the main reason for the burst in activity.

New Year's Eve I had to work through midnight, and Jean had to be at work in Bozeman the next day, so I spent it by myself.  New Year's Day I decided it was a good time to clean the garage, and that's what I did.

It Finally Sold!

The past couple of months have been pretty busy for me and Jean.  The holiday season is filled with things to do!  This particular Christmas we've been getting ready for Betty's house to sell.  We received an offer that we wanted to take on October 28.  Gardiner is a pretty small town, so we've been keeping a lid on it the best we can because people talk.

Glenn and Patty and have been living there for awhile as renters.  It's been really beneficial because they've been really great with the property and have taken good care of it.  Without people actually living there, a lot of problems could have come up that could have prevented the house from being sold.  At the point that we had to sell the house some hard feelings started coming to the surface toward us and our selling agent, which we're sorry about since Glenn and Patty have been great to have around.  Honestly it was expected because the house was selling around Christmas and Glenn and Patty, our neighbors, only had a month to find a place to live and move.  Gardiner is not the easiest place to find a place to live!  They've had a lot of stress this Christmas season, and I can appreciate that.

On the other hand, it's been stressful for Jean, Dad, and myself too!  As per part of our buy-sell agreement, we had to make a private road easement between Betty's house and our own.  I'd been busy with a lawyer trying to arrange that.  We had a little bit of stuff and one last car in Betty's garage which had to be immediately moved.  Dad and Bonnie came up to Gardiner a few days ago and we got that taken care of.  Since Betty and Grandma are both in a nursing home, all of their affairs had to be signed by their powers of attorney.  Grandma was unable to sign for Betty in her condition, so we had to have Betty's daughter-in-law help, but she's in Colorado, so it slowed the process down a bit.  We had to fumble through some paperwork from both the lawyer and the title company.  There were discrepancies that needed to be fixed, and strange questions which arose that needed to be answered.  At the last minute I found out that I needed to hire a professional cleaner according to the buy-sell agreement before the buyer moved in.  Such is the situation with a house being sold, isn't it!?

I have been more of the middle man in all of this.  I have had no power to sign any document--even a check--but I have been responsible for making sure that things happened.  Grandma certainly couldn't have done this all on her own even before her stroke.  Especially at the end, I found that people relied on me to communicate between parties and to ensure that contracts were enforced.

This past week felt like I was back in college and this was finals week.  So much had to be done in a very short amount of time!  At least I didn't have to do any all-nighters!  I have been here for the entire ordeal: Betty had to go into a nursing home in 2005; I and 5 other people went through the majority of her house for 2 months in 2006; Betty's house went on the market in 2008, and shortly afterward, she also had to go on Medicaid; she was put into hospice care in October, and now Betty's house finally closed on Friday, December 17.  Next month she will be paying her bill privately at the nursing home, and the lien that Medicaid put on the house has been satisfied.

I haven't seen Betty lately, but Dad and Bonnie seem to think that she's declined in the past month.  Jean doesn't think so.  Talking to Evergreen on Friday, I found out that Betty had a fall that day.  She doesn't appear to have hurt herself badly, and it seems that she tried to get out of her wheelchair by herself to walk.  Her falls are infrequent now, so that's some good news.  Evergreen has changed her diet to being pureed, which has also helped.  I'm not so sure that we're going to be able to get new bottom dentures for her based on what I'm hearing from Evergreen and the denturists.  In the meantime until dentures are plausible, we'll have to just settle for the pureed diet.  One of the ladies there commented that although she doesn't recognize anyone else, she does still recognize her sister because when they are in the cafeteria, Betty will often scoot herself in the wheelchair to a place next to Grandma.  Betty can't talk anymore, but she can answer yes-or-no questions.  In my opinion she's just existing.  I don't think she has long to live, but she's survived longer than I expected!

Medicaid has never been fun.  Medicaid is a state sponsored program in which people who don't have enough income can receive government help.  The nursing home here costs about $50,000 a year, and that eats into people's life savings really quickly.  Although Betty still partially owned her house, she didn't have enough money to pay for the nursing home.  Subsequently, I've had to jump through a lot of hoops so that she qualifies for Medicaid.  To put it simply, Medicaid is a huge bureaucracy that goes to extreme lengths to make sure they don't lose any money.  Even Betty's burial policy had to be signed again because Medicaid wanted to put limits on how it can be used.  Medicaid was a necessary evil in all of this mess, and I hope I never have to use it again, especially regarding Grandma being in the nursing home.  Nevertheless, it's better than nothing.

I'm so glad it's over!

Hunting Along the Miner Creek Trail

Yesterday, Trever and I went hunting for deer.  When I told Scott of our adventure, he said he was proud of me.  Honestly I'd rather shoot an animal with a camera than a gun, but I've never had any objection to hunting.  It's been about 15 years since I've actually done any hunting, so it's definitely been awhile.

We had kind of a day of misadventures.  It was already snowing, and my car wouldn't start.  After a quick jump start, we got a couple supplies and tried to get a license for Trever.  Unfortunately for him, I didn't realize that he needed hunter's safety because of his age, so he was unable to get a license.  I guess it didn't matter anyway because we never saw anything that we could take anyway.

Regardless, we drove to Tom Miner Basin and tried to get as close to the campground as we could.  I started realizing that if I went any farther, I would probably get stuck in the Blazer, so I tried backing up to where several cars were already parked and got stuck doing that.  We couldn't dig ourselves out and the tires just wanted to spin, so we asked someone there if he would pull us out with our chain, which he did.  Thanks, Jeff!

We started hiking up one trail and then we realized we were going up the wrong trail--we were on Sunlight Basin trail instead of the Miner trail.  We backtracked and then went on the right trail.  Things look a little different in the snow than in the summer.  We trekked through some snow on the trail but soon found that we were getting into deep snow.  We waited for about an hour at the edge of a clearing, but saw nothing.  Once we stopped moving, we started getting cold, and I was glad to get moving again.  I think the worst enemy to clothing in the winter is sweat and humidity.

When we got back to the car, a little cold from the waiting and the drop in temperature, the car wouldn't start.  Jeff was once again our savior with a quick jump.  The only thing I can figure is that my four-year-old battery may need to be replaced since this isn't normally the kind of problem I face.

Getting back to Gardiner was easy, and the only deer we saw was on our way home: a mule deer doe on private property, which we weren't allowed to harvest.

Once in Gardiner Trever realized that he didn't have a key to his apartment.  Once he got in, Trever and I parted ways and got into fresh clothes and had met again for some dinner at K-Bar.  Pizza really hit the spot.  Trever's a bit sore today.  From the digging I did yesterday my shoulder blade areas are a little sore, but I feel alright.  It's been awhile since I've hung out with any friends.  It was good to get out!

We might go out hunting again soon, we'll see since there's only another week left to hunt deer.

Even though things didn't turn out as we were hoping and planning, we still had a good time.  I was a little amused at all of the small disasters we had!

Dipper, My Birthday, and Other News

It's been about a month since I last wrote on this blog!  I really am not being lazy.  Honestly, not much has happened.

A month ago, Dipper died.  October 20, Jean and I couldn't get him inside that evening because he was struck on the highway.  Jean found Dipper, but didn't want me to see him.  She said that he basically died instantly.  I was really sad when it happened, and I'm going to miss him.  He was my favorite cat out of the three.  It was interesting that I just took some photos of him a day or so before when he had gotten into some iron oxide.  Now only Butterscotch and Lightning are left.  My mighty hunter is gone.

Dipper got into iron oxide somehow!

Lately, Lightning has been acting pretty strangely.  On Wednesday evening and Thursday morning we had a bad windstorm which blew in a snow storm.  Ever since then Lightning hasn't come out of Grandma's bedroom closet.  Yesterday I told Jean at work, "There was an old kitty that lived in a closet.  She had so many worries that she made a 'deposit.' "  Subsequently I moved one of the litter boxes next to the closet so that we wouldn't have this problem in the future.  I don't know what to think about Lightning.  Maybe I need a cat whisperer to figure out why she's so nervous.  Butterscotch doesn't bother her, and there isn't anyone there to do mean things to her.  She is an obsessive licker and has a bare belly with no fur.  Maybe this is related somehow.

This month I've been working a lot on family photos and genealogy.  I recently discovered some cousins on my paternal grandma's side of the family.  I only knew of one that was still living until Jean and I found a wedding invitation from 1952.  I'm in contact with her, and I've been collecting information from her side of the family.

I've seen a lot of photos lately.  We pulled out several portraits of people, one of which was my second great grandfather's wedding photo from 1892.  We're having it professionally digitally rendered since it's bigger than my scanner.  He's one of my favorite ancestors anyway, so I consider this a good investment.  The digital version should be ready by Wednesday, but I don't know if I'll be in Bozeman to get it then!

Tuesday, November 16 was my thirty-first birthday.   I got so many birthday wishes on Facebook!  I celebrated my birthday on Wednesday with Jean.  She and I are so close we're like a brother and sister; I never thought I'd be so close to her.  She took me out to Corino's in Bozeman and we watched a movie together.

By the way, I didn't like Skyline.  They had a good idea for a plot, but the movie never had a conclusion; it ended on a twist.  As well, I found the movie depressing.  I thought the movie was violent enough that it should have been rated R.  Oh well.

Also while we were in Bozeman we did some shopping, mostly related to family genealogy and archiving.  We want to preserve the special things in Grandma's house like photos.  We'll eventually transfer all these things to acid-free media.

We had a big snowstorm on Friday.  In one night we got about 12 inches of snow.  The next day it continued to snow, though we didn't see more than a couple inches Saturday.  Today was pretty clear, but last night it got really cold.  It was 4 degrees last night and warmed up to 21 today.  This is more snow than we got cumulatively last year!  In general we've had more precipitation this year than normal.

Hospice Care for Betty

On September 1, Jean and I went to a Care Conference for Betty and noticed that there were some significant changes in her.  She no longer recognized me, she favored her left side, and then she started having falls.

On October 13, I went to a Care Conference for Grandma at Evergreen.  Jean was out of town at a veterinary conference in Reno, Nevada and couldn't attend.  While I was at the Care Conference, the staff discussed with me their concern about Betty because she'd been making a rapid decline.  Most of this was because of her falls; she'd been having about two a week.  As a matter of fact, she just had one Oct. 21.  On one of her falls, she broke her bottom dentures.  I asked the resident social worker Roger if he thought that there would be any benefit to Betty's way of living if we got new dentures for her.  He didn't even hesitate to say no.  The staff has moved Betty to a new room where she can be better monitored, but that doesn't stop Betty from trying to get out of bed when she wakes up.  The staff recommended that I put her on hospice care.

To me this was not shocking news.  Having studied a bit about Alzheimer's Disease, I recognized that once she started falling, she would probably make a rapid decline and then pass away.  Alzheimer's patients can be obsessive walkers, which Betty is, and at some point, they forget how to walk.  The combination can become fatal.  It seemed that this was coming true for Betty.  Based on what Evergreen was telling me and how fast someone can decline, I guessed that she only had another month to live.

I tried to get an appointment with Betty's doctor because he wanted to talk to Jean and me about some test results on Betty, but I was unable to that day because it was Wednesday and neither the doctor nor his nurse were in.

Thursday, Oct. 14, I called both Hospice Care and Rocky Mountain Hospice.  Wow!  There is certainly a difference in the companies!  If anyone in the Livingston/Bozeman area wants a recommendation for a hospice company, I can easily recommend Rocky Moutain Hospice.  We set up a meeting at Evergreen that day and talked about Betty's care for an hour and a half and then I signed their paperwork.  We still needed Betty's doctor's orders to put Betty on hospice though.

I went back to Park Clinic and tried to make an appointment to see Betty's doctor.  I had two errands now: Betty's test results and hospice care.  His nurse, told me that he was "booked for the rest of the day and can't see you, and he's going out of town tomorrow and won't be back until next Thursday.  Is that too late?"  That was just about the stupidest question I had heard.

"I don't know," I replied, "Betty's going into hospice.  When is too late?"  Nothing was accomplished by talking to that nurse.

Rocky Mountain Hospice went to bat for me and found out that Betty's doctor was actually going to be back in town before he was actually supposed to be at work, so they were able to get the ball rolling.  Betty was officially on hospice October 20, six days after we tried to get this done.  Thank you Rocky Mountain Hospice!

Yesterday, October 21, Jean got a call at 2:30 pm asking us where we were because we were late for an appointment with Betty's doctor.  I kid you not:  I flew off the handle, especially at the Park Clinic employees, because Jean and I knew nothing about this appointment with her doctor, for which we would have gone to had we known about it.  For real!  I tried twice last week to make an appointment, in person!  (Living in Gardiner means that we need to know at least an hour before an appointment so that we can drive to Livingston.)

I did get to talk to Betty's doctor, and explain all the road blocks I had been having trying to get in touch with him concerning both Betty's test results and hospice care.  Her doctor is a good one, and he's always tried to help us out when he could, but I recently kept having obstacles in arranging an appointment to meet with him, and this was really the third strike.

Betty's test results showed that she had scarring in an aortic artery.  That may or may not have any affect on her falling.

Also, tests were done on her vocal cords because she doesn't talk anymore.  The doctor doesn't believe that the paralysis of her vocal cords is because of Alzheimer's; he believes there may be a tumor or other malady near her throat.  All her life she's had thyroid problems, and I consider that this could be a result of that.  The doctor doesn't believe that treating it would be in Betty's best interest, and I agree; one of the reasons I wanted to put Betty into hospice is because of problems that we can't fix without life-threatening solutions.

The doctor agreed to sign the orders for hospice because of our wishes, but doesn't necessarily believe that Betty is terminally ill.  On the other hand, the nurse who did an exam of Betty for Rocky Mountain did believe that she qualified.  Evergreen staff and Betty's social worker at Evergreen recommended hospice.  I see Betty's rapid decline myself and know it's a really bad sign.

I hope that Betty gets better with the extra comfort-level attention that hospice can provide.  Maybe she'll get out of this scenario.  But if she does, I don't think she will live very long anyway because of the possible tumor and because after losing the ability to walk, Alzheimer's patients lose the ability to swallow.

I haven't been too close to Betty myself, so I hope I don't sound heartless in writing so dispassionately about her circumstances.  Her decline is sad, but it doesn't affect me very personally.

My biggest goal in her care at the moment is making sure her immediate needs are taken care of.  I think it's especially important now because of the possibility that she will soon die.  Montanans want to die with dignity; it's even written in our constitution.  I won't deny her that.