Saturday, December 24, 2011

Celebrating Christmas Early


Yeah, I know it's a little early to open presents and have family together, but Jean and I have to work on Christmas on opposite shifts, so we're doing things a little early so that we could all be together.

December 22 started out with Zana, Lloyd, Jared, and Kassie coming over from Big Timber in the morning.  We got to visit together and have a good time.  We had a light lunch of gumbo and half cheese sandwiches.  Jared and Kassie hadn't had gumbo before, but they liked it.  After lunch I gave Jared his birthday present since his birthday was on the twentieth.  He and Kassie had birthday cupcakes, plus with lunch he had a Dr. Pepper.  In addition we have Christmas cookies all over the house, so I think Jared and Kassie were on a sugar high for most of the day!

Lloyd told me a little about his family while visiting.  Life was very different back then!

Jared and Kassie mostly played with the Legos while I scanned old photos.  Jean and Zana got to spend some girl time together.

Jared and I picked up Zana's Christmas gift from Gardiner, which had just arrived.

Jared and Kassie went with me to Montana's Rib & Chop House in Livingston where we were meeting others for our Christmas dinner.  We had a group of about 12 people: Dad, Bonnie, Chris, Edie, Bruce, Jean, Kassie, Jared, me, Zana, Lloyd, and Tim (not my uncle).  I hadn't seen Chris and Edie since September when we celebrated Dad's birthday at Famous Dave's in Bozeman.  They were on the other side of the table, but it seemed like they were doing well.  I hadn't seen Tim in many years--he graduated from Park High School a few years after I did as I remember.  He came with Chris and Edie as he and Chris are good friends.  We had a great time, and after Jared and Kassie left with their mom and grandfather, Dad, Bonnie, Jean, and I opened up our presents.

It was a day of traveling, company, and celebration.  I'm glad we all had such a good time together.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Tuesday's Christmas Parties


For the most part, this Christmas season has been quiet, even if it was busy.  I've been making a lot of trips to Livingston and Bozeman this month.  I had an office Christmas Party, a party at Evergreen Livingston on December 20.

Tuesday, December 20 we had our Christmas Party at work.  We had all sorts of food and fun at this potluck.  The main courses were Prime Rib, hot shrimp in a butter sauce, and cold shrimp with a dipping sauce prepared by our general manager.  We also had garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus, potato salad, and cranberry sauce.  We had Coke, Root Beer, and Mountain Dew to drink, and for dessert we had pistachio cherry cake.  We had a great time together.

As soon as I got off work, I had to immediately go to Evergreen's Christmas party in Livingston.  I visited with Grandma for a couple hours and even Santa Claus made an appearance, delivering gifts to the residents.  Grandma's wall by her bed is very bare, so I got her some photos for the wall.  I have more I want to put up, but I need to find more photos I want to put up.  I went to get some refreshments for Grandma and myself.  When I got back to the table, the director of the nursing home was talking to Grandma about something and then saw me.  She's said, "Oh, that's you!"  She had seen the photos on the table in front of Grandma.

I had a piece of cheesecake and Grandma had some chocolate pudding.  She was pretty amusing during our visit.  She asked me how old I was and I replied that I was 32 years old.  She was surprised, since she has dementia and other memory problems from the stroke last year.  I asked her if she knew how old she was.  She said no, so I told her that she was 83 years old.  She said, "You're an ass."  I had to laugh.  Grandma's never used any language before except to quote other people.

We went to her room where I showed her some pictures I had scanned to my computer from some old photo albums.  She asked where Grandpa was, which I avoided answering.  The people that she loves are still alive in her mind.  I felt comfortable enough to explain that her nephew Jerry had passed away several years ago, but I knew that telling her that her husband had passed away was a bad idea.  She wondered if he had run away or escaped from her!

As I was leaving Evergreen, I spoke with the nursing assistants who told me that Grandma had been pinching their butts!  Although inappropriate, they had to laugh at it.  When they asked Grandma why she did it, Grandma told them that she wanted to see if it was squishy!  What a great response.  Even while I visited her, Grandma wanted to feel my hair.  Apparently she really desires tactile sensation.

I continued my way out the door when I saw that Ingrid came into the nursing home to visit Grandma.  I took her to Grandma's room and let them visit by themselves.  I'm glad that Grandma got so much attention Tuesday.

I didn't get to see Betty, since she was in her room during the festivities.  I'm not sure she realizes everything that goes on around her, so it might have been for her best that she couldn't come.  As well, she has been napping a lot more lately; she may have been too tired to attend.

It was a busy Tuesday, but I had a lot of fun.


The Spirit of Christmas


Have you ever realized that Christmas isn't really a one-day celebration?  Truly it is almost an entire month of celebrating.  Shopping for presents, putting up a Christmas tree and other decorations, work parties, school and community events, and watching Christmas specials and movies are just a few of the things that happen in addition to the actual celebration of Christmas.  I think we get so busy in the Christmas season that we don't even realize how much we celebrate during the month of December.

I think that some people, especially in the government and schools, get way too politically correct.  Having been at the front desk of a hotel, I haven't found Christmas to be offensive to anyone I've worked with regardless of  ethnicity and religious background.  Just like Linus quoted from the Bible, Christmas is about the angels' proclamation more than 2000 years ago: "Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased" (Luke 2:14 NASB).  Even if the other people don't believe in my God, they actually appreciate the well-wishing and generosity of the season.  Those who don't believe that Christ is the Son of God generally emphasize Santa Claus as the icon of the season, who even as a fictional character, tends to iterate the best qualities in people.

I find the actions of those who riot in stores trying to buy gifts simply appalling.  They certainly deserve to be on the "bad list."  In the United States we have been blessed beyond that of most nations, and because we have seen so little hardship in comparison to other nations, have become spoiled to the point of throwing tantrums, stampeding store employees to death, and assaulting fellow shoppers to get a competitive edge in shopping.  As the song says, "And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.  The greatest gift they'll get this year is life."  We're killing each other to attain pieces of plastic that will be broken in two weeks while others are struggling to survive.  This situation is utterly embarrassing, detestable, and hypocritical.  We tell our children that they have to be good for Santa while we mace other shoppers.  What a lovely Christmas present to our loved ones: jail time for mommy who couldn't wait her turn.

I prefer to show the benevolence of Christmas year-round, and to celebrate the holiday, not as a single day in the calendar, but as a whole month to enjoy.  I want my peace on earth and good will toward men.  That means I did not buy noise toys for my cousins.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Falling for Betty


It's a cute title, but the situation has been far from cute.  The first fall, which was about the time of Halloween, or thereabouts, was the worst; Betty had to be taken to the hospital next door to Evergreen Livingston where she lives to receive a couple stitches on her head.  After that, she had four more falls during the month of November.  The last fall was different from the first four in that she fell out of bed while sleeping.  All the other falls were while she was in a wheelchair.

Previously they had a seat belt on her wheelchair that prevented her from falling out of the wheelchair.  They took the seat belt off because she couldn't demonstrate that she could take it off.  Then she started falling.  There could be a couple reasons why she might not be able to show that she can take a seat belt off.  At this point in the progression of Alzheimer's Disease, she might not understand what we are directing.  Also, she might not be capable of taking the seat belt off.

Rocky Mountain Hospice called me on November 25 to discuss Betty's scenario.  They were extremely concerned about Betty's falling since Evergreen wasn't working to resolve the matter.  Evergreen has a "no restraint" policy that they were enforcing.  As well, they were concerned about Betty's eating habits since she was aspirating when she was eating.  They wanted to stop what they thought were double portions to stop the discomfort from aspirating most of all, but also prevent injury and illness that would eventually result from aspirating.  We understand that Betty will forget how to swallow because of Alzheimer's Disease, and that seems to be happening now.

After speaking with me, Rocky Mountain Hospice tried to arrange a special care conference for Betty between all of us because of these main issues.  That was a little confusing because I didn't realize that Hospice was doing this, but we did need to discuss these issues or else put Betty in a facility that was going to take care of her properly.  We did finally get it all straightened out though.

Jean and I met with Evergreen Livingston, a social worker, and Rocky Mountain Hospice December 1.  The lady who represented Evergreen seemed defensive and took the company line.  Hospice took a stance advocating Betty's comfort, which is what Jean and I are mainly concerned with.  The social worker acted more as an arbitrator.  We discussed the easy stuff first and discussed the falling last.  For the most part, Evergreen and Hospice went back and forth, and Jean and I typically listened and interjected only occasionally.

The first issue was about Betty's skin-picking.  Jean and I are convinced that at least part of this is connected to obsessive-compulsive disorder, which our family tends to have.  As well, with the cuts and bruises that Betty has recently gotten from falling, it's likely that they itch.  Everyone at the table was talking about options to dope her up for this discomfort--the possibility, which drug, etc.  I really couldn't believe what I was hearing.  I asked why they just couldn't put some hydrocortisone where she was scratching.  Hospice was happier with that idea, but I didn't understand why they didn't just think of this.  Evergreen didn't want to do this to a scabbed place on Betty's eyelid, but they could easily do this everywhere else.

That scab on Betty's eyelid is fairly recent.  Although we have not done a biopsy to know for sure, and at this point we wouldn't do anything greater than comfort treatment for it anyway, it is thought that it could be cancerous.

From this meeting we were able to ascertain more information.  Since June, Betty has been on large (not double) portions because, according to Evergreen, they weren't sure if she was getting filled when she was eating.  I don't know if that's true or not, but it was clear that it was the company line.  In November a reminder went to the cafeteria about giving large portions, which seems to have irritated Hospice because of Betty's aspirating.  Hospice also believed that they were giving her large portions to keep Betty from losing weight.  From Hospice's point of view, it is more difficult to explain to the State of Montana why Betty should remain in Hospice when her weight was remaining the same, since that's one of the easiest measures of determining her qualification.

Me, I can see that as Betty has gotten older, she would suddenly decline and then plateau.  She has been on a plateau for several months now, but these falls have precipitated another sudden declination.  Her condition needs more attention than Evergreen can give by itself.  (Some of that is Evergreen's fault, but I'll explain that later.)  I think her weight is irrelevant to the issue, and think that whatever the reasons were behind the large portion order back in June, they don't apply now.  I was glad that Hospice offered some transparency to their reasons.

Although Hospice doesn't continue to feed Betty when she starts aspirating, Evergreen agreed to stop the large portions and also stop feeding Betty when she starts aspirating.  This seemed to be a "no-brainer" for everyone at the table.  Pneumonia and choking are things that we'd like to avoid!  However, the fact that we needed to have a meeting to actually discuss something that everyone already knew was a problem and knew how to fix seemed to be more of a prelude to the larger issue--something to talk about before getting down to business, so to speak.

The lady representing Evergreen's interests explained that Betty has been falling asleep more regularly, and this was the main reason that Betty was falling out of her wheelchair.  Hospice didn't dispute this, and it was recommended by the social worker that Betty get naps after meals.  There are two other issues, though: if she is falling asleep in her wheelchair, someone needs to take her to her room.  Jean and I commented that when we arrived at Evergreen, she was asleep in her wheelchair in the big room where the TV was.  (When we left the meeting, apparently she was still in that room and hadn't been taken back to her own room to sleep.  Where is the person monitoring the people in that room?)

The other issue was about restraint.  Evergreen had been modifying the wheelchair so that Betty leaned back more in the seat to prevent her falling out.  I asked why they can't put a seat belt on, and of course, Evergreen took their "no restraint" policy and then spouted that they were committed to the health and safety of their residents.  I got mad at that--"How is five falls in one month safe!?"  She didn't want to believe that there were that many, but she looked it up and told us with a surprised look on her face that it was five.  Hospice told me later that they had told her that Betty had fallen that many times, but she wouldn't believe Hospice.  She continued on about their policy of no restraint, and even the social worker explained about the liability issues with restraint.  In this case, those issues are moot because Betty's simply existing.  She's not able to express what she wants and what she doesn't want.  We can't be concerned about if she wants to stand up if she can't express that.  We know it hurts to fall out of a wheelchair, and we're pretty certain that she registers the pain.

Then I nailed Evergreen.  When Grandma and I put Betty into Evergreen, it was because she had hit herself in the head with a piece of metal.  She was also violent to Grandma.  I told Grandma that we could no longer provide the kind of care that Betty needed.  Betty's doctor prescribed and Evergreen administered an anti-psychotic, also known as a chemical restraint.  Evergreen's no-restraint policy was inconsistent with what they practiced.  Plus, a seat belt is far less restrictive than an anti-psychic, but they're not willing to consider the seat belt.  In reply, Evergreen didn't even re-define "no restraint."  She sarcastically and defiantly suggested that maybe they should use a kind of chest strap.  By the way, in Betty's case, that would be a huge red light because of the choking hazard when she falls asleep.

The social worker made a decision and told Evergreen that if the steps that we had already discussed don't work, then they are to use the seat belt again.  Hospice wanted the social worker to define how it will be determined that these steps don't work.  Basically Betty has to either fall, or it has to be obvious that she will fall in her condition.

We didn't get to discuss this, but Evergreen is understaffed.  This solution that the social worker made basically means in-real-life that Betty has to fall before a seat belt is added.  That's unfortunate, but at least he forged a compromise.  I don't think Evergreen liked the fact that they were being told that they may have to use a seat belt.  But with Evergreen understaffed, I don't think they're going to be able to monitor Betty the way that their policy says they're supposed to.  I don't believe that Evergreen is able to come through with their promises.  We shall see.

While we were at Evergreen, Jean and I visited with Grandma for a little bit.  Jean's birthday was on December 2, so Grandma basically got to see Jean for her birthday.  It was getting closer to lunch time, so after our visit, Grandma and Betty were wheeled to the cafeteria.